Episode #25 - Grit Mindset with Dave: What I've learned in the first 25 episodes, on our road to 1,000

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The real danger in life is not setting a goal too high and missing it, but in setting a goal too low and reaching it.
— Michelangelo Buonarroti

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Episode #25 Summary:

This week I briefly reflect on my podcast journey, so far.

I'm always searching to understand better 'us.'

Questions I reflect most often about are:

  • How and why are we motivated to do something?
     
  • Why do some people find satisfaction, happiness and sustained success, and others do not?
     
  • What is modern day society getting wrong about the answers to these questions and how can I help bring knowledge and clarity back to them?

I was recently asked: how did I recover so quickly from being stabbed in the heart by a passerby in Boston one-night in 2005, and what might I be able to impart onto people that could help them in their lives?

Truth be told, I'm still trying to understand the correct personal insight I can give to people from that story outside of the cliche responses.

To help on my journey - to help me answer my own questions first, and then to be able to share those answers with others publicly, we launched our podcast - Milestone Mind - with these 3-simple questions in mind, posing them to people that we felt could help shed light onto them.

And, what I've learned on that journey so far has completely exceeded all of my expectations. 

The answers gained through conversations with others has helped me become more comfortable with the insight I've learned from my own near-death experience and how that insight might be able to help others - in addition to the inspiration they may feel from such stories.

And, I'm comfortable with what this insight has to say. *But, before I discuss these themes, maybe the biggest takeaway I've received is that we are so much better together, than alone - with our thoughts, our questions, our hopes, and dreams.

(*Why the asterisk? Because I've learned without one-major equation included in these conversations, this notion of better together falls apart - let's take a look:

Vulnerability + Asking + Listening + Learning = Growing, Together. 

If a former Navy SEAL and a former Near-Death Surviving College Football Captain can follow this equation (Jeff and Me), then we all can.))

As a society, we often become amazed at the different capacities of things like grit, tenacity, courage and steadfastness, that high-achievers, founders and leaders display - and in my case, surviving a near-death experience. And, wonder, "how can I build these capacities in myself?" Let me explain.

What I've learned about the aforementioned capacities, is that they are only present when Plan B doesn't exist.

That, in fact, when these people's eyes we've spoken with open in the morning, they're not following some clearly laid out business plan. 

I would even venture to say; they are doing way more than merely just following their passions.

I'm not sure they are following anything at all!

So, then, what are they doing? 

They're allowing their hearts and souls to be freely pulled to contribute to something way more significant than their ego will ever be. 

They are being pulled to contribute to whatever this pull is in the most profound ways they can muster. 

Sometimes, they don't even know where they're being pulled, but they trust it anyway because the notion of some ego-derived Plan B gives them hives.

The notion of fear stopping them from taking a step into this unknown abyss of Plan A is a complete non-starter. 

Turning back to Plan B feels like a stabbing pain in their chest (no pun intended), rather than deferring gratification and embracing the short term struggle of getting aligned with Plan A, whatever it may be.

Plan A is like a trust fall. You have to fall backward blind-folded trusting people will catch you. And, they will - if you let them.

But, how many have stuck to Plan B? 

Plan A is saying 'YES' to something unfamiliar and scary to you, but through experiencing this, you grow and become even more full.
 

But, how many say NO, sticking with Plan B?

Plan A is throwing your hands up on the roller coaster ride, looking bright-eyed to the sky and screaming at the top of your lungs.

Plan B is closing your eyes, holding your breath, and coldly gripping the safety bar.

Which one makes you feel more alive?

It seems to me through these conversations with our guests that sustained success, both personal and professional, is more than just 'THERE IS NO PLAN B' but more about 'TRUSTING, ALIGNING AND HANDING OUR FAITH OVER TO PLAN A," and then throwing our hands in the air, and enjoying its ride.

So, when I think about the personal insight I can impart onto people through my brush with death, it is this: Plan A opened my eyes, and I believed in it. I trusted it with my whole heart, mind, body, and soul. It got me out of bed. It got me back to the practice field. It helped lead us to a championship. 

What was Plan A for me? Being a part of something way bigger than I would ever be - at the time, it was the team I was on and the teammates that made up that team. Plan A was carrying me - and it felt damn good. 

So, then, how do you build grit, tenacity, courage and steadfastness?

Without Plan A, you don't. What you do is get aligned with YOUR PLAN A, and you become unstoppable, having these capacities now become by-products of your journey, and ultimately, adjectives used to describe your character. To you, though, there was no PLAN B just PLAN A. However, you will graciously accept the compliments of being gritty, tenacious, courageous and steadfast.

So, what is my Plan A now?

It's us.

Create, Elevate and Become.

Because You Can,

-Dave

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Quotes from the Episode:

"I'm growing because of others; not because of myself and my own thoughts."

"When you allow that struggle to happen, you learn."

"Embrace the struggle so you can grow and make your product better."

"It's not about what do I get, it's about what am I giving?"

"Give, but give to the right people. If people are just going to take from you, you have to cut them loose." 

"At the end of the day, you have to curate who you surround yourself with; who's going to stand with you: it has to be a bunch of other givers."

"Plan A is giving. Plan B is receiving only."

"Plan A is your heart, your soul, your spirit - it's what you desire to unleash." 

"They reach success and continue to reach success because of their strong desire to give."


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Resources:

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The Milestone Mind Institute

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